It is exhausting to be someone else – to do what you are ‘supposed’ to do and focus on doing everything ‘right’ – especially when it goes against who you authentically are and what you truly want.
For my first 48 years, the formula I lived by was:
WORK HARD + DO THINGS RIGHT = EXTRAORDINARY LIFE
But try as I might, that formula didn’t quite work… though it came close. I focused on the inputs (working hard and doing things right), but the output wasn’t extraordinary – it was really good; it was stable; people liked me; I was responsible; I was helpful; I was surrounded by other hard-working right-doers; my family appreciated me.
But the extraordinary remained elusive.
Once I (finally) realized the formula was inaccurate, that’s when two polarizing emotions set in: confusion and excitement. I started tweaking the inputs. There were times I played poker or disc golf instead of working hard – and there were times I started doing things that weren’t accepted as the ‘right’ thing.
And I started getting glimpses of the extraordinary.
Little by little, that transition continued over the past five years. Taking baby steps away from always working hard; taking baby steps away from doing things right. And the result has been baby steps toward the extraordinary.
As I have reflected on 2025 and looked toward 2026 and worked on creating a strategic plan for my business and goals for my life, I found myself drawn back into the comfortable formula. I’ve been asking myself questions like “what is the right number of talks to target”, “what is the right fee to charge”, “how should I exercise”, “how much poker is too much poker”, etc.
But I don’t want 2026 to be another baby step toward the extraordinary…
I’m looking for a jump.
So, amidst the strategy and planning, one word has emerged: FREEDOM.
My focus is claiming my FREEDOM to set my pricing, speak where I want to speak, be who I want to be, meet with those I want to meet with, don’t meet with those I don’t want to meet with, build relationships with those I admire or enjoy.
But more than decision-making, I want the freedom to be myself in the context of the business, relationships, and effort. The FREEDOM to show my emotion (yes, I cry during almost any movie) – The FREEDOM to laugh out loud – The FREEDOM to sing in public – The FREEDOM to be curious.
If you are on a similar journey, I welcome you into my FREEDOM journey, and maybe we can find strength and support from each other.
If FREEDOM is not your focus, I encourage you to find your word or phrase or focus for 2026 that will lead you toward who you want to be or what you want to do.
Speaking Adventures
As the year winds down, I’ve found myself reflecting on a busy and deeply rewarding December. Closing out my 2025 speaking schedule allowed me to spend some invaluable time with my family, recharging before the final push of the season. That balance of home life and the open road is what keeps the fire lit, especially when the work involves such incredible organizations and people.
Earlier this month, I traveled to Muscatine, Iowa, to reunite with the leadership team at KENT Worldwide. After exploring their “Epic Adventure” together last year, they invited me back to dive into “The Curiosity Effect.” We challenged the old notion that “curiosity killed the cat” (which is not wisdom – it’s control) and instead embraced curiosity as the spark behind every major breakthrough.
Delivering these sessions to six smaller, intimate groups allowed us to get real and dig deep. The back-to-back sessions and social hours in their historic venue left this introvert a bit “fried,” but my heart was full. Not only was I able to invest more deeply in the KENT leaders, but was a chance to collaborate with fellow speakers (and wonderful humans) Michelle McCullough, Nate Orvis, and Paul Butler.
I wrapped up my 2025 speaking schedule locally with the sales team at Showdown Displays. Despite the December chill (which was quite a shock for those visiting from California and Alabama!), the networking and personal stories shared quickly warmed up the room.
We discussed how to embrace the “ups and downs” of their industry by viewing work and leadership as a true adventure. By definition, an adventure includes the exciting, the frustrating, and the scary. To achieve Breakthrough (or “Overdrive,” as Showdown calls it), we must clarify the experience we want, get the right “peeps in the Jeep,” and have the courage to do the “unright” thing.
As we head into the new year, I extend that same invitation to you: embrace the adventure, stay curious, and lead with courage.
Connecting with the Community
Have you ever met someone who is such an expert in their field that you pinch yourself that you get to breathe the same air as them? Or at least the same Zoom airwaves… 🙂
This was the experience in mid-December as the Ambitious Speaker Collective (ASC) welcomed Eric Koester to share his brilliance on the book-writing process. As the founder of Manuscripts and a two-time Georgetown Professor of the Year, Eric’s insights on building ownership and influence through authorship are unmatched.
Eric is the brains behind my concept of “The Unright Thing,” which became the focus of my book and a core component of several of my talks. It has become a rallying cry for those of us who have lived so long with the burden of trying so hard to do everything “right” that we forgot about authenticity and the quest for the extraordinary.
Whether you are an aspiring author or a fan of great storytelling (check out his book The Pennymores), Eric is a must-follow. His investment in our speaking community is game-changing, and I’m deeply grateful for his friendship and genius!
The ASC also enjoyed visiting with fast-growing, phenomenal speaker Dallin Cooper, which was a wonderful conversation.
If you (or others you know) are looking to build your speaking business, side hustle, or hobby, shoot me a note and let’s figure out how to help you get there.
To follow more of my speaking journey, let’s connect on social media! Follow me on LinkedIn or YouTube, or join the conversation on Facebook or TikTok.
As we dive into 2026, I’m making a conscious effort to trade the exhausting formula of “doing things right” for the FREEDOM to be authentically extraordinary. I hope you’ll do the same. Together, let’s ditch the “supposed-tos” and embrace the curiosity and courage required to make this year a true adventure. 🙌
Until next time,
Maisha ni safari
(Swahili… Life is a Safari)
Sincerely,
Steve Fredlund
The Courage Advantage™ | Speaker | Author | Humanitarian | Recovering Actuary
651.587.5435 | SteveFredlund.com | LinkedIn | Promo Video | Scheduling Link
About The Author
Steve Fredlund is an award-winning keynote speaker, two-time TEDx presenter, and bestselling author of Do the Unright Thing: Memoir of a People Pleaser. After decades as an actuary, executive, entrepreneur, and nonprofit founder—including leading humanitarian efforts in East Africa—Steve discovered that doing everything “right” doesn’t always lead to fulfillment or impact.
Drawing from that journey, he developed The Courage Advantage™ philosophy—centered on the everyday courage to move beyond expectation, lead with authenticity, and live in alignment with what truly matters. Through his engaging stories, humor, and practical insights, Steve inspires audiences to find greater clarity, connection, and fulfillment in both life and leadership.